New things, new culture, new friends, new school.. During this
week I’ve felt that everything is too much. I’ve been under too much stress and
on Friday I realized I need to rest. To do whatever I want, eat candys,
buy something just for fun, talk with my family and friends, consume time by
doing nothing useful (well, that’s the most useful thing to do). I am person
who doesn’t stop until has to. And I think I am not only one with this problem.
When I found myself crying and being depressed it’s time to take a break.
It’s a hard world. I mean dance world. Did you know that
Black Swan is a normal story? To be every day in front of mirror doesn’t make good
for your self-confidence. There are jealousy, eating disorders, competing,
criticism, physical and mental exhaustion among the dancers. It’s everyday
fight to come better and better. But it’s worth it isn’t it?
Okay that’s truth but not only way to become a professional
dancer. Sometimes I feel being lost in the danceworld because I don’t want to go
through above mentioned negative things. I want to be physical and mental
healthy dancer. Work hard and become the best I can. I think the key is to
search who I am as a dancer and how my body can move.
Dance is way of expressing. It is beautiful way to tell who
I am. I need to dance because it’s part of my identity. Dance is learning
process such as life. Dance is life. At least big part of it.
Take care,
Jutta
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